Honest Greg
See a sample report

Greg read the whole thing.

Export your WhatsApp or iMessage chat. Greg reads every message — all of it — and writes what he really thinks. It's brutal, it's funny, and it's weirdly accurate.

Group Award
Flakiest Member
presented to
Jordan
can't lol
Jordan · Oct 2
34
times "I'm 5 minutes away"
The math has never once checked out.
— Greg
The Cast
Dev — The Mayor
Nobody remembers electing him. Nobody dares impeach him.
!since June 2023??
"Greg called me the group's unpaid event planner and honestly? Fair."
— Nadia
"We printed the Group Awards and framed them."
— The Group 🌴
"Greg noticed my situationship was one-sided before I did. Rude. Correct, but rude."
— anonymous, obviously

How it works

1

Export your chat

Straight from WhatsApp or iMessage. Takes 5 minutes. We'll show you how.

2

Greg reads it

Every message. The fights, the bits, the 2am spirals. He takes notes.

3

Get the report

Awards, lore, verdicts, receipts. Then send it back to the group — that's the whole point.

What Greg notices

Who actually starts every conversationThe in-jokes nobody remembers startingWho's more invested (with numbers)The Flakiest Member awardWhat they're not sayingThe era your chat peaked
The honest part

Your chat is used once to write your report, then permanently deleted. Greg runs on Claude, made by Anthropic — they never train on what you send. Delete your report anytime.

Questions

Which apps does Greg support?

WhatsApp and iMessage. WhatsApp exports right from your phone. iMessage needs our little Mac app.

How long does it take?

About 5 minutes for you to export the chat. About 5 minutes for Greg to read it and write your report.

Which chats work best?

All of them. Friend groups, family threads, couple chats, work crews, your situationship. The messier, the better.

Is Greg going to be mean?

Honest, not mean. Greg roasts with receipts and love. And if your chat contains something genuinely heavy, he drops the jokes.

What happens to my chat?

Your chat is used once to write your report, then permanently deleted. Greg runs on Claude, made by Anthropic — they never train on what you send. Delete your report anytime.

How much is it?

Your first insight is free. The full report is $9.99, one time. No subscription, no account required.

Send me the chat.